i may not be the best. i may be misunderstood. i know i cannot be that someone you expected me to be. but i am still me. still that same off-tuned key.

i'll keepon playing.




name.Md. Hidhir
gender.Male
age.16++
dob.25 November 1989(Presents!!)
school.Innova Junior College
what i want. friends, world peace, 7A1s, change my password so mojo jojo couldn't come in
what i don't want. certain people to exist,little bros
fav songs. kelly clarkson's n evenescence's n many many more

my lifeas itis.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Wanted to rant about my siblings but decided they are not worth my time and effort. I don't hate them. I just don't like them. In particular the two younger than me.



And they are evicting me from my room to what had been my sister's room for the past 11 years, claiming that in this way, all the boys will have their own personal space (funnily enough, in the same room, which doesn't get more impersonal) while the smaller room(currently mine) will be perfect for my sister who will have it to herself. Despite the reasons given, all I can think about is how they are taking away from me the room with the computer and the only working ceiling fan in the house, not to mention a great view to the garden-like badminton court behind my flat. And i don't get the personal space argument. My brothers use my room and my sister's for personal space, especially since my sister is not currently living with us.

And with their ongoing 'clean-up' of the rooms, I have not seen my house messier than it is in the past five years or so. maybe longer. And, as you all know, the timing for all this is just perfect.

Now my notes are strewn across...everywhere and while i was able to keep track of where they were....now..... lets just say i hope those notes i don't have with me are not at all that important.

I will not blame this episode for what might be dismal prelim results. That would be just plain immature. Just like how my two brothers are now so gleeful, once in a while popping up beside me, sneering "You don't have your own room anymore."

And they still wonder why i don't study well at home....... my mum is convinced its because of the supposed mess that is my room. It's not t all messy to me. I know where each, relevant little thing was. SIGH. Was.....



I am not at all happy about this, in case you are wondering. Of course, it might have something to do with how not a single person has asked exactly how i feel about this. No. They just drop the bombshell on me two days ago, explaining what they are doing and why. Not even a semblence of a permission was asked for.


When I get rich and famous(refer to previous post on fantasies), I'll get each member of my family their own suite of rooms. And lock them up there and conveniently misplace the keys..... maybe somewhere in the Pacific.....

still the same.| 2:24 AM

tryto understand me.

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key of C. o

try as i may.
i can never explain.

key of D. o

i cant' be somebody.
i'm really not.

key of E. o

i know there's.
some time to change.

key of F. o

everything's changing.
yet i don't feel.
the same.

key of G. o

always caught.
up in circles.
confusion is.
nothing new.

key of A. o

i never believed.
in dreaming.
it never.
got me very far.

key of B. o

i tried.
to find myself.
i always.
get lost.

key of higher C. o

no one see.
me rightly.
i'm always.
a fault.

key of higher D. o

i tried to fly.
away from reality.
but gravity.
pulled me back.

key of higher E. o

still i'll keep on playing.
that same off-tuned key.
that everybody thought of me.